Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
