when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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