you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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