Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
