Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
