i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
