I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
