Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
