so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
