Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
