Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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