You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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