Can Purell be used as lube?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
