i don't plan on having that self control this summer
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize