is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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