Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
