my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at about main and main street
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
send nudes
from the living room?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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