She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
