Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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