The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
