not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
