I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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