It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
