Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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