I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
