new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
