i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
