Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
