Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
