if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
