you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
