How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
