upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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