i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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