You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
