I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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