at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
