thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
