I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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