I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
