I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
