so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
