If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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