so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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