She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
