): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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