i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
