I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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