R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he puts the penis in happiness.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
