Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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