Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
PANTIES FOUND
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