Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
