Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
