Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
