Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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