But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A+ Viking dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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