whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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