WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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