Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
