he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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